The Friends Reunited Friendship Panel

Out with the old and the new- Time for a friendship detox

According to Friends Reunited's Friendship Panel in its 4th report from a year-long study into friendship in modern Britain.

For many, the New Year will not only be a time to slim down waistlines but also address books as friendships are likely to go through a detox.

Incredibly, one in three women claim that they have already lost at least 26 friends by the time they reach 30 years old; that's an average of one a year since starting primary school and twice as many as a female in her 80's who will have lived almost three times as long.

By comparison, just 20% of women in their 50's, 17% of those in their 60's and 15% of females in their 70's, claimed to have lost more than 26 friends throughout their lives.

That's according to findings from research by Friends Reunited's Friendship Panel into how friendships end. The report marks the fourth survey in a year-long study, which will look at all areas affecting modern friendship in Britain.

The findings support the theory that Britons live in a disposable society, with a clear notion that nothing is indispensible. The ethos of "if it's broke, don't bother fixing it, just get a new one," seems to apply to friendships as well as material goods, with only one in three people feeling any sense of regret after loosing a friend. In fact, in answer to the question, "when you look back at the friends that you have lost, what's your overriding feeling?" the majority simply replied with "that's life."

Older generations, however, are not quite as flippant, with men in their 80's twice as likely to regret losing a friend as a man in his 30's.

38 year old Panel Member Martin Penalver, from Essex, said: "I'm not surprised the older generations feel regret more than the youngsters as friendships have definitely changed. 50 years ago, communities were close, friends were for life and a fall-out was felt by everyone.

"I also think that modern men misjudge their friend's characters more than a woman, which ultimately leads to a break down in the friendship. Men can have impulsive friendships through brief meetings whereas women will think a little more carefully before diving into a new friendship."

Dr Malcolm Cross, Head of Psychology at City University, London, said: "Men are likely to have friendships that are associated with tasks. They have interests and activities in common. Women on the other hand value maintenance; that is friendship for friendship sake."

Inevitably there are times that friendship for friendship sake just doesn't work and rifts begin to develop. Should they decide further down the track to attempt reconciliation however, the most popular method for initial contact for women in their 30's, is to send a text message (one in three). This might not be surprising in today's high-tech world but a staggering one in five of women in their 80's also said this would be their preference for initial contact while less than half that chose more traditional methods such as sending a peace offering.

Learn more about the Friendship Panel and their next task at: www.friendspanel.co.uk

For more information or to interview anyone quoted in the release contact Victoria Reed or Carolynne Bull-Edwards on: 01883 717468 or email press@friendsreunited.co.uk

Notes to the Editor

2,636 members from aged 16 upwards had their say on how friendships end in a survey carried out through the Friend Reunited site.

The survey is part of an ongoing investigation by the newly created Friendship Panel. The members were selected from over 250 people who responded to a call out on the Friends Reunited homepage for contributors to the Panel. Representing the ‘ages' of friendship they each have their own stories of how the site has helped change their lives. In addition Dr Malcolm Cross gives his psychological interpretations on their findings.

The six panel members sitting alongside the Head of Friends Reunited Jon Clark are:

Dr Malcolm Cross
Dr Malcolm Cross is Head of Psychology at City University London with special interests in gender and psychological well-being. He is also Dean of Students at the University, helping them to make the most of their time at City. He trained as a clinical psychologist in Australia before moving to the UK to undertake his PhD and planned to return to Australia after four years, but 15 years on is still enjoying life in England.

Rebecca Cooper
29 years old and a company director, Rebecca was contacted by her father through the site after 19 years apart. Despite her busy schedule, Rebecca always finds time for her friends and is often found teaching her pet parrot Toby to swear!

Juliette Leon
37 year old Juliette from Coventry, prides herself on her happy-go-lucky outlook. Mum to a teenager, by day she's a sales and marketing executive and a singer songwriter by night.

Jenna Backwell
24 year old Jenna, can't sit still for more than 5 minutes and when she's not at work designing homeware, spends all her free time meeting up with friends and traveling to far flung places.

Martin Penalver
38 year Martin runs a door blinds business, but his true passion is reading and writing books. His first novel is due to be published in October.

About Friends Reunited
Friends Reunited was launched in July 2000 and swiftly turned into a media phenomenon. Since then it has grown from being one of Britain's most favourite websites into a national institution. What began as a back-bedroom hobby to put old school friends back in touch with each other has developed into the unofficial ‘People's Who's Who' by including workplaces, teams/clubs, streets and armed forces. It currently has over 20 million members worldwide and operates in four countries. Each week, an average of 35,500 people join the site. Since 2005, Friends Reunited has been owned by the UK's biggest commercial broadcaster, ITV.