Money

MEN MAKE BETTER FRIENDS WHEN IT COMES TO SHARING THEIR CASH

Friends Reunited’s newly appointed Friendship Panel reveals in its 1st report on a year-long study into friendship in modern Britain today.

Rock star Beth Ditto may have just paid tribute to her mate Kathy Mendonca, who used her credit card to help fund the band Gossip, but it seems that on the whole girls just aren’t that generous when it comes to sharing their cash.

That’s according to findings from research by Friends Reunited’s newly appointed Friendship Panel into how money affects friendship. The report marks the first exercise in a year-long study, which will look at all areas affecting modern friendship in Britain today.

Asked how they would cater for friends on differing incomes on a weekend away, one in three males said they would put their hand in their pocket for a friend who couldn’t afford it, but only one in five women said they would do the same. Older men are even more generous, with those over 56 almost twice as likely to pay for a friend, than women in the same age bracket.

Men are also far more willing to borrow money from their friends, 60% would compared to only 35% of women.

38-year old Panel member Martin Penalver, from Clacton-on Sea, agrees with the findings: “Men are definitely more charitable. Perhaps as we’re more simplistic creatures – think old caveman theory – we don’t stop to consider the consequences of sharing, lending or borrowing cash in the same way women do.”

Rebecca Cooper, a 29 year old business woman from Loughborough, also of the Panel, has quite a different theory though: “In my experience, men are only the more generous sex if they want something!”

How magnanimous you are doesn’t just depend on your gender it seems, but also on how much you earn, the study found that those with a household income of £30,000 or less (around the national average of £28k source: NSO ’05-’06) were more likely (1 in 4) to pay for a friend than someone with a household income of two to three times that on £60,000-£90,000 (1 in 5). Only when household income exceeded £150,000 were people more prepared to treat their mates (2 in 5).

The results offer a fascinating insight into how the level of your household income affects your friendships. We asked respondents how they would react to a friend being promoted above them and two in every five males with a household income of £80,000-£90,000 said they would ditch their friend and they were three times more likely to do so than a female in the same income bracket. Those with a household income exceeding £90,000, however, were far more supportive of their friend’s success.

Rating your financial success against that of your friends’ appears to be an age issue. Men aged under 25 are the most likely to discuss their earnings with a friend – 70% would ask a friend how much they earned and 90% would disclose their own wage; this drops dramatically with age as only 13% of men over 65 would ask the question and only 50% would reveal their income.

Surprisingly, women, across all age groups are far more reserved (only 28% would ask a friend how much they earned, 57% would disclose income only if asked) challenging the theory that they are generally more open with their friends than men.

How comfortable you are talking about money with your friends also depends where you come from. Northerners are the most liberal with the information and especially those in the North East, 34% would ask the question, compared to only 17% in Ireland for example.

Regional differences are interesting when it comes to how we deal with a friend who never buys a round of drinks; if you live in the South East you are most likely to either not invite your friend out again or at least leave them out of the next round than in any other region in the UK. For example you are five times more likely to exclude your tight-fisted mate from a round than if you lived in Ireland.

Unpaid loans are another pet-hate when it comes to our friends, but again it depends where you come from as to how ‘friendly’ your response is. People in the Midlands, Ireland and Scotland are twice as likely to sever a friendship over an unpaid loan, than those in the North, who seem more forgiving. The Irish are the most likely to forget about it and those in the North East are the most persistent in trying to get their money back.

Despite our hang-ups about money, reassuringly the research shows that we’re still there for our friends when they need us the most.

Jon Clark, Head of Friends Reunited and Chairman of the Panel, said: “They say that money is the root of all evil, but overall the research reveals that friendship does transcend wealth. Yes, we’re all guilty from time to time of making comparisons with our mates (that’s why most people logon to Friends Reunited), but it’s comforting to know that when the chips are down 99% of respondents said they would either change their own lifestyle for a friend who’d lost his job or treat them more often.”

Dr Malcolm Cross, Head of Psychology at City University, said: “Reciprocity, or give and take, is essential for relationship formation and this is evidenced by this research which sees friends loaning money and offering to pay for others who earn less [in most cases].

“Sharing is a defining feature of friendship, but gestures need not be large to be of significant symbolic value.”

This sentiment is shared by 57-year old networking guru David Marks, of the Panel: “All in all, a good friend is priceless.”